Preparing for Goodbye

It is hard to believe, but we are in our last week at Smile. Time is a funny thing, isn’t it? I feel like I’ve been here for so long, yet at the same time I feel like I just got here. 

never want to leave this boy!

We had quite the exciting day on Friday. Two young men from outside Smile’s fence began stoning sweet David (who’s about 13 years old). We got the security guards of Smile, and they found one of the men. He had to kneel in front of David and apologize. Of course, about 100 kids wanted to watch this and started chanting in Swahili, “Shame on you!!!” They followed this man the entire way out, dancing, and chanting at the top of their lungs. I couldn’t help but laugh. The man was so embarrassed, but it serves him right! He was stoning poor David for no reason at all. That night, we watched The Lion King (aka Hakuna Matata according to the kids), which is their favorite movie. They always sing “Hakuna Matata”; however, those are the only two words of the song they know.

excited to watch the Lion King!

 A couple days ago, one of the boys, Peter, was quite mad at me because I was holding another boy instead of him. He went and cried in the corner, refused to smile, and gave me the cold shoulder every time I tried to console him. I kept thinking how ridiculous that it was that he wanted my love, yet he refused to accept it. He could’ve stepped into my embrace at any time, yet he chose to soak in self pity and isolate himself. I just wonder how often I do that with God. How often do we refuse to step into His loving embrace? How often do we ignore His love even though we still long for it? But praise be to God that He accepts us back every time we choose to come back to Him!  

The last couple days at Smile have been both crazy and fun. There have been other teams of muzungus at Smile, and they have loved on the kids and brought many useful gifts for them. They have done a great job of sharing the Word, doing skits, playing games, and loving on the kids. The other day, they brought new clothes for the kids… shorts, shirts, and shoes! For one of the first times ever, Habuchi did not want to be held… he just wanted to hold my hand and walk in his new tennis shoes, which is an experience he has never had before. It was such a tender moment. However, the next day, Habuchi was back in his t-shirt full of dirt, snot, and spit. His dad is an alcoholic and most likely sold his new clothes to use for his addiction. The entire day, Habuchi just wanted to sleep in my arms, and I couldn’t coax a smile out of him.  

Ocheng and Habuchi in their new outfits... don't they look great?!

Today, one of the teams brought toothbrushes and toothpaste for all the kids and were taught how to brush their teeth. The kids were very excited about this, and even more excited to smile for all the muzungus afterwards! However, I think the kids also thought the toothbrush would be a useful tool in building their little mud houses… most toothbrushes were a nasty color by the end of the day.



the toohtbrushes by the middle of the day...



All of this has been making me struggle with the question: how can I really help these children here? What can I bring that will be sustainable in their lives? With the thought of leaving so soon, I just can’t help but think I’ll be another person in their life who has loved them and has left them/disappointed them. I’m still struggling with this question. All I know for now is that I need to leave them with Jesus and leave a legacy of Him. Please be in prayer for these children and ourselves as we make the transition and leave.

after I squirted the boys with my water bottle-made-squirtgun. They loved it. I loved it. It was great.We have been saving our water bottles up so we can give them to all the kids and have a huge water fight right before we leave. We're pretty excited for it!



Today, I taught the widow’s English class again. Those women are SO sweet, and we’ve had a wonderful time learning together! We also went to a prison again yesterday. The prisoners were on their way back from a work project, but there were about 5 men that had stayed behind. In order to kill time, we all ended up sharing our testimonies. When the rest of the prisoners arrived, the pastor requested that we all share our testimonies again along with the message because they were very powerful. Sometimes I feel inadequate in sharing because these men have been through SO much in their lives, but it’s so incredible that God can use an American girl’s testimony to touch the life of a prisoner in Africa. Christ makes us competent, and He can use all of our testimonies in any circumstance to bring more people to Himself. Praise the Lord! 6 men came forward to be saved, so once again, please be in prayer for these new believers!

some of the ladies that come every Wednesday to learn English

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement! I am so blessed by you all J  

pooped by the end of the day!



"He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water." -Isaiah 49:10

The Joy and the Heartache

It was such a happy time to come back to Smile after our time in Jinja and being able to hug all my little buddies again. The past week has been full of joyous moments, frustrating moments, and heartbreaking moments.

Some of the joyous moments:

·         There was a crusade for three days from 4:00-7:00 put on by a mission team from Australia. I brought a handful of the kids that live at Smile, and they loved the worship and the dramas.  

·         I finally brought out the bubbles this week, and it was one of the best parts of my day! The kids have such a look of joy and wonder when I blow them, and of course they all go crazy trying to pop them.

·         We went to a men’s prison yesterday and gave the message. We talked about the armor of God and being a good soldier for Christ. About 15 men decided they wanted to commit their lives to Christ, which was exciting! Only God knows their hearts, but please be praying for these men as they embark on the incredible journey of faith.

• Laughing with precious Roberto... isn't he adorable?!

·         Coloring with the kids who live at Smile… they LOVED being able to use the markers!

·         Reading Bible stories in the classrooms at Smile and being able to share about God’s love for them.

• When Alupot sees me, he stops, gets this funny little grin and crazy look in his eyes, then runs full force towards me and jumps in my arms. One of the best parts of my day!

Alupot... I just love this boy.

• Habuchi and I have a silly little smile that we share with one another. It brings my heart such joy!

Some of the frustrating moments:

·         The kids can be very violent towards one another, especially if they’re fighting over having a muzungu hold them. One day, I was holding Peter, and Habuchi hit him with a stick. Of course Peter started bawling, and trying to cheer him up, I wrote, “I love you” on his hand with a marker. Terrible idea!!! I soon had 50 kids shoving their hands in my face, wanting me to write on their hand. I tried to form a makeshift line, and I started writing “Jesus loves you” on their hands. Meanwhile, more kids shove their hands in my face, fights are breaking out in front of me, the kids are shoving the ones who are first in line, a kid is crying non-stop right next to me, and kids were braiding my hair into knots. As I’m writing “Jesus loves you” on their hands, I’m shouting “HAPANA!” (which means no in Swahili… one of the most useful words I’ve learned here), and I may have even told a kid to shut up… thankfully they don’t understand English. I think one of the biggest things I’ve learned while at Smile is my own inadequacy and my own sinful nature. I am amazed that Christ chooses to use me despite my own failings and my own petty frustrations. And when I am at the end of my rope, He gently reminds me to lean upon Him, and He will be my strength. When I was about to go crazy, I started singing “Jesus loves me,” which is a song the kids know, and soon they started singing with me and things calmed down.

·         Sometimes, I get very frustrated with the school at Smile. One of the older kids was sad one day, and I asked what was wrong, and he told me their teacher just didn’t show up to class. It’s so frustrating that these kids want to learn, yet they don’t always have that opportunity.

Some of the heartbreaking moments:

·         On Wednesday, one of the boys, O.T. was sobbing. I went over to go comfort him and I saw blood dripping out of his mouth. I thought maybe he had just been hit and bit his tongue, since that has happened before, but I soon found out that his top front two teeth were knocked completely loose. Another boy had pushed O.T. into a wall, causing this to happen. O.T. will go to the dentist, and he will never again have his front two teeth. So sad. And what was almost worse was the way that the boy who did it was punished.



This is O.T. who's soon going to get those front two teeth pulled out :(



·         One of the six-year-old boys was at it again in the fields the other day (and by that, I mean that he was caught having sex with one of the other little girls). He was surrounded by people and shamed for what he had done. The thing is, he doesn’t know any better. This is only what he has seen his mom doing in the past, and to him, it’s completely normal. One of my team members, Dani, had a little talk with him the next day (using a translator), trying to TEACH him the right way of doing things.

·         Sweet little Fate has malaria. I had to hold her as she got a shot in the butt (and probably panicked more than she did!) She has not been to Smile the last couple days, which is not good because she needs to get more injections.

“So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” -1 Corinthians 3:7

Love and miss you all very much!



we survived!

We went white water rafting down the Nile on Tuesday and survived!!! It was so awesome. We stayed at the camp site provided by Adrift for a few days, which is right by the Nile. It was a wonderful time of rest, relaxation, and spending time with the team, but we definitely all missed the kids at Smile! While there, we were asked to party a few times… it made me realize all the more that missions is everywhere. It’s when I go on a white water rafting trip, it’s when I’m on the plane sharing with the person next to me, it’s when I go to the grocery store and talk  with the Indian workers, it’s staying at the hotel land building relationships with the staff, and it’s at Smile. And missions certainly won’t stop when I get back home… because everyone needs the Lord, no matter what their circumstances are in life.



can I just say class 5 rapids?!



our team about to eat supper at Adrift

I never thought I was a person who loved monkeys until I saw this baby monkey... so cute!



sunsets by the Nile every night, which we made sure we never missed!



Michelle and Laura spent their last day at Smile. The kids sang songs for them, and there were lots of tears all around. We will miss them both, and I know all the kids will too. It makes me dread my last day at Smile. I have fallen in love with these kids, and I can’t imagine leaving them yet. Each day, the kids ask me, “You will come tomorrow?” And I am just not ready for the day that I have to say no.

sweet Fate and Peter

A couple of the kids have called me “mommy” a few times, and it breaks my heart because I don’t want to be another parental figure in their life who leaves them. It reminds me all the more to leave these kids with Jesus because He has promised to never leave them nor forsake them. I can’t be with these kids after August 10, but He can. And I can entrust these kids to Jesus because He loves them so much more than I do.

The other day, Alupot, one of “my boys” was sick. He’s a 4-year-old boy who lives at Smile. At night, he was just trying to hold in the tears because his stomach hurt. Then, he went diarrhea out in the field, and since there’s no toilet paper, he just wiped his butt in the dirt and let the rest of it the only shirt he has. Here I am, 21 years old just hoping that I don’t get sick because my mom and dad won’t be here to take care of me. Yet, this precious, little 4-year-old boy has to deal with sickness on his own. He deserves to have someone take care of him when he’s sick, help him get dressed, bathe him, and at the very least make sure he has toilet paper and underwear; however, he doesn’t know any of these simple joys. But I guess for the time-being, I get the privilege of being able to do a few of these things... which has been such a blessing to me.  And in the end, I have to trust that Jesus will take care of him. He is the Father to the fatherless, so I know Alupot really is in good hands.  



precious Alupot

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither eight nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39

Prayer for the next couple weeks:

-We will be able to love the kids fully with Christ’s love.

-We will be filled with energy and joy as we spend time with the kids.

-That we will be intentional with the kids throughout our last couple weeks.

Love and miss you all!

Just a Little Update

On Tuesday, we climbed the Tororo Rock (aka huge mountain) with about 20 of the kids from Smile. Let me tell you, it was quite the hike! It was only a 2 1/2 mile climb, but it was SO steep. At some parts, there were even ladders provided so you could get up. Many of the kids didn't even have shoes when climbing... I don't know how they did it. It felt like quite the victory when we actually reached the top, and the kids really enjoyed it... so it was well worth the hike!

Today, as well as going to Smile, we went to a women's prison with Pastor Amos. There were only 16 women in the prison, and six of them had a child with them. We had a sweet time of singing, praying, and sharing a message with them. We talked about the message of the Bible... sharing about sin, God's love, and salvation through faith. It was very good, and next week, we will be doing the same thing at another prison... only that prison has about 400 inmates instead of 16. As we were leaving the prison, there was a woman singing "Above All" and I joined her in singing. It was just such a sweet thing: two women, both sinners, saved by grace, praising the Lord.

Smile has been great. There are times where all I want to do is hug the children, love them, and take them home with me. But honestly, there are also times where I don't want the kids to braid my hair into knots or I want them to quit touching my camera! There are times when a little boy will hold up his arms and say, "beba me" (hold me), and I look down and see a naked little boy covered in dirt, throw up, snot, pee, and spit... and I don't want to touch them. However, that's when Christ's love overcomes, and I am able to embrace them fully. I think it's such an image of what God does for us. He sees us, covered with all our poop, pee, dirt, etc., yet He picks us up, embraces us, and loves us even through our sin. However, unlike me, He does not hesitate in picking us up, but embraces us fully without any hesitation.

"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." -2 Corinth. 12:14

Oh Africa

There have been MANY things to praise the Lord for this past week!

First of all, the government finally took its hold off the food from Feed My Starving Children! The trucks pulled in on Thursday, and I wish you could all see the look of joy on the kids’ faces. All the kids surrounded the trucks with shouts of joy, acting like it was Christmas. Such a cool thing to be a part of. Here are some boys eating their new nutritious food :)

There have also been a couple of teams at Smile this week who have been huge blessings to the kids and the staff. They did skits for the kids, made crowns for all them, and loved on them. One church even had a woman who sewed clothes for ALL of the children. The kids were thrilled, and they all looked adorable in their new, clean outfits! Some of the kids had shorts for the first time ever, and we were able to tell which ones were boys or girls (because the girls had dresses on and the boys had t-shirt and shorts on).

On Friday, I was walking to Smile. On my way there, I was praying and letting the Lord know that I was just tired and I needed Him to fill me so I could love on the kids that day. I heard some American worship music coming from a church, and I felt a prompting on my heart to go inside. There was an Australian team leading worship at the church, and we spent time worshipping the God of all the nations. It was such a sweet time of fellowship and so wonderful to know that I have a family of believers all around the world. It was definitely an answer to prayer, and I felt encouraged for the rest of the day.


Habuchi... just the cutest boy. He makes THE best silly faces I have ever seen in my life!

 Some other new fun things:

We went to an introduction yesterday and were even dressed in gomas, the traditional clothes. It lasted from 11:00-8:00, so it was a long day, but definitely fun! It was a Norwegian man marrying a Ugandan woman, so we were supposedly the sisters of the Norwegian man even though we cannot speak a word of Norwegian J We were the guests of honor, and oh boy, I have never felt more famous in my life. I finally understand what it’s like to fear having a picture taken of me with my mouth full of food, yawning, tripping, etc. We constantly had pictures taken of us, which we found humorous because these people are going to have ALL these pictures in their introduction album of these muzungus they don’t even know! It was a fun time of eating, meeting different people, watching dancers, and carrying in all the gifts on our head in front of the guests. It’s similar to a dowry, where the man buys gifts for the bride’s family, showing he is able to provide for the woman.


us in our gomas with our new Norwegian brother!

We went to a branch of Pastor Amos’s church today, and once again, we were asked to give a personal testimony. I guess we were also supposed to preach the sermon, but that was lost in translation, so our kind drivers that brought us to church ended up preaching the sermon for us. Michelle and I taught the Sunday School class and had a fun time singing songs and acting out the story of Jonah and David and Goliath.



giving a short message of encouragement at church



The wonderful Sunday school class we taught!

To end the day today, we visited the monkeys at the bottom of the Tororo Rock… a great finish to the day!

I have a new great friend at the Crystal hotel. We named him Chupa. He is one of the cutest puppies ever, and I am in love! I visit him several times a day, and every time I go visit him, a man asks me if he can buy a puppy for me… what do you think mom and dad? Would you like an African puppy?

Thanks so much! God bless J

Karibu (Welcome)

I hope everyone had a good 4^th of July! We celebrated here in Uganda by singing the National Anthem and “I’m Proud to be an American” and afterwards treated ourselves to ice cream and watched the most Americanish movie we had. We’re still hoping to do fireworks with the kids sometime soon, but we have to get it cleared with the police first :)  

Things have been good here! On Saturday, we went to the village where 3 of the teachers live at Smile. They all live in mud huts. We went to the 1st house, and they had huge bowls of chicken, rice, noodles, matoke (fried, mushed bananas), sauerkraut, millet bread, beef, goat, etc. We ate as much as we could, and there was still plenty left over. Then, the 2nd teacher took us to her house and fed us the exact same thing. We ate to the point of diarrhea and throwing up, and THEN the 3rd teacher took us to her house and fed us the exact same thing. We tried so hard to eat it because they had worked so hard to prepare it. Let's just say we all were using the bathroom quite extensively after that... AND the water was turned off, so we couldn't flush. Not a good thing. It was really sad to be in a village with starving children, and to have to excessively stuff ourselves. The good thing was all the leftovers go to kids in the village though. Right after our 3-meal lunch, we went to supper at a sweet couple’s house. Somehow we got on the topic of weight in America, and how it’s not good to be fat or to be called fat in America. The couple just burst out laughing as if that were the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard. Fat being a bad thing?? No way! If only Americans could have so much confidence about their self image while still being healthy :)

We’ve been SO blessed by peoples’ hospitality the past couple weeks. This Saturday, we were even invited to Introduction (a Ugandan tradition… kind of like a wedding, but not quite.) I guess they wanted a more multi-cultural influence at their introduction? They’re dressing us in the traditional Ugandan dress and everything! We’re pretty excited J

Smile has been great! We got to take our cameras this week, which has been fun/crazy… the kids LOVE cameras. I’ve also been able to teach English classes to the widows. At first, I was pretty intimidated when they had me in front of the class of 15 or so women who don’t know how to write even in their own language. However, it has been a blessing, and it gives me so much joy when the women call me “teacher.” The Lord’s really confirmed my passion for teaching on this trip. After I teach, they teach me how to make beads for necklaces. It’s a wonderful thing where I can learn from them, and they can learn from me.

Here are some pictures of the PRECIOUS kids at Smile. Love them dearly!  

Nula... such a cute kid!

Ocheng... little stud!

The kids LOVE reading Bible stories, and we are more than happy to share it wth them!

Dance parties... a must.

Beautiful faces

Habuchi, me, and Logos

two little cuties: Peter and Andrew

beautiful ladies!



Love these boys SO much!



Ocheng... his dancing skills are unreal! He's going to be on the cover of a cd or tv show for sure!

Peter winking- just the cutest! And of course chupas (water bottles) everywhere. The kids are obsessed.

Today, we cooked American food for Barbara, one of the workers at Smile. Never have hotdogs and no-bake cookies tasted SO good!

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." -Romans 13:8

God bless you all- thanks for all your encouragement! I feel so blessed!

Love

This last weekend was filled with playing soccer with the kids at Smile, doing laundry by hand (see picture below), visiting Pastor Ruth’s house, eating at a new friend’s house, and going to church. Definitely a wonderful and refreshing weekend.

Pastor Ruth is the person who started Smile. She cooked a wonderful meal for us on Saturday night and shared her testimony with us, which was so inspiring. She is a humble woman who has done incredible things for God and gives Him all the glory. She listens to the voice of the Lord and takes leaps of faith before the provision comes. People think she has a large bank account to be able to pay for everything, but she states that her bank account is in God, and every time that she needs to pay for food for Smile, beds, clothes for the babies, etc., she receives the exact amount of money that she needs. So cool to hear her faith and how God has worked in amazing ways in her and through her.

We also had the opportunity to go to Pastor Amos’s church last Sunday. We were thoroughly welcomed and sat at the front of the church (by the pulpit, looking out at the congregation!) and we each shared a little bit of how God had been working in our lives recently. Once again, I was completely humbled by the way these people praise Jesus. Below is a little snippet of their worship. Afterwards, the church served us lunch… such hospitality!

Here's a picture of us with the pastor and some of the members of the church after lunch:  

The last few days at Smile have been good as well as crazy. Before I left, I was so excited to simply love the kids… what I didn’t realize is that sometimes, loving them would be hard! More and more, I’m seeing the need for the Lord to love through me because in and of myself, I cannot love these children as they deserve.  Today, two of the kids were in a fight. They both grabbed these large rocks and were ready to throw it at each other (stoning happens a fair amount at Smile.) I stepped in saying “hapana!” which means “no” in Swahili and started to grab the rocks. The kids then proceeded to bite me and continued to try to throw the rocks at each other. It’s times like these where I am at the end of my own human capabilities to love, and I need to depend on Christ to love through me. The fact is, these kids are only imitating what they have seen in the past. I also learned this week that some 4 year-olds at Smile were caught having sex in the fields! They have no idea what they are doing, it’s only what they have seen from their mom doing before. It’s only when I start seeing these kids with Christ’s eyes that I am able to love them.

Other updates… I got my first proposal this weekend. I guess the guy wanted mixed babies? We got a toilet paper holder in the bathroom, which we are pretty excited about. And, two of the girls on our team have malaria. Pray for them as they are feeling pretty miserable. Also, I’m really praying that the rest of us do not get malaria. The girls have gotten 3 shots in the rear end plus an IV… don’t know if I can handle that.

Love and miss you all!